


An Essay of Perfection

by NymphadoraTheTemplar



Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: Angst, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, all's well that ends well, used the idea of classical mythology beings influencing human lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-26 05:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17739797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NymphadoraTheTemplar/pseuds/NymphadoraTheTemplar
Summary: I wanted to write a little meta about why two characters I love are so great together but that of course wasn't good enough for me, so my brain said "Here's what we're gonna do, we'll create this sorta-ish new universe where there's this 'Bureau of Human Bonds' run by beings from classical mythology and write from the perspective of one of the employees who doesn't want to get fired"





	An Essay of Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this post](https://run-more.tumblr.com/post/174589442837/saguru-is-a-lawful-and-touch-starved-gay-and)  
> and was inspired to write a pseudo persuasive essay. I say essay but it's more of my own extrapolation and interpretation of the characters influenced by my personal head canons.  
> Then after starting the essay, I of course didn't find it good enough, oh no it needed to be presented through my odd storytelling. And thus this story was created.  
> Hope you enjoy (^-^)

─── ♧♢♧♢ ───

 

This was not good, this was not good at all.

Although it wasn’t totally my fault, even if I suppose it is a part of the job description to make sure one’s target is correct. But seriously, I look away for a few seconds to load up an arrow and this happens? How many cupids actually expect their very female target to suddenly be replaced by a male double? Who is somehow very convincing I might add.  
I’ll admit I was looking forward to this assignment when I heard that my targets would be attending a Kaitou KID heist, seeing as the famous magician of the moonlight was one of the more interesting humans to watch. But I never expected said master of disguise to borrow the face of one of my targets, of all the people present.

Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, I look back over the file for my second target.

Nakamori Aoko: Female with bright blue eyes and wild but pretty, dark auburn hair. The daughter of a police inspector and was training to join the police force herself. She was strong both in will and strength, and tended to be motherly with a liking for chivalry.

This is why it appeared that my first target would make a good match. Flipping over to the file of the other target I shot just a few minutes prior.

Hakuba Saguru: Male with inquisitive amber eyes (that bordered on glowing red with the way they caught the light at times, especially the way they appear to glint whenever he presented rather impressive deductions) and neatly groomed, wavy blond hair. The son of a chief of police and was working on becoming a full time consultant for the police force. He was skilled in the art of deduction and tended to approach matters with a logical mind, while also being warm and well practised in proper manners befitting of a gentleman.

 

There’s a reason only the best trained nymphs are allowed to become cupids, these are powerful spells we’re dealing with, meaning they are very tricky to try to fix. So hitting the wrong target can be a bit of a problem. And I just shot none other than the Kaitou KID, civilian identity Kuroba Kaito, instead of the intended Target II Nakamori Aoko. 

Well maybe if I play my cards right, I won’t have to worry about trying to try to fix it, maybe this, err let’s just call it Alternative Target, will work out with Target I Hakuba Saguru. How about I just observe them for a bit and then decide if a corrective procedure is required.

 

─ ♧♢♧♢ ─

 

After much observation and consideration, I have come to a decision.

Which brings us to the reason that I am presenting this thoroughly researched essay for my appeal of Altered Target (and also please don’t fire me, I love my job).

 

─ ♧♢♧♢ ─

 

Hakuba Saguru (Target I) is a lawful and touch-starved gay, and Kuroba Kaito ([Altered] Target III) is a chaotic and ‘what’s personal space’ gay, and therefore they are perfect for each other. In this essay I will present my carefully conducted findings that basically speak for themselves as to why I have elected that an alteration of Target II (Nakamori Aoko) was the appropriate course of action after careful consideration of what is best in regards to interests of the heart.

Hakuba Saguru is lawful because he likes order, has a drive for justice, he wants to fight for what is right. Being born in the position that he is in, he has had expectations and duties to fulfil since the day he was born. His fondness for being orderly likely stems from a want, or perhaps even a need, to control what he can of his life. He wants to know why, why things work the way they do, in order that he may better anticipate and plan his actions accordingly to the predicted outcomes. In order to understand, one must study and follow the way of the laws.

Kuroba Kaito is chaotic because he likes the novelty of ever changing, which likely contributes to his enjoyment of disguises, and discoveries of new things. He likes the joy of finding and implementing new knowledge into the magic he loves to weave, to produce the happiness that he can live for, that spark of wonder and sparkle of enjoyment that lights up the eyes of an audience that is his and his alone, captivated by his moment of miracles created by his own hands.

Kuroba is certainly no one trick pony, he simply can not stick to one routine. It is one of the principles as stated by the great magician Howard Thurston after all, “Never perform the same magic for the same audience more than once” because when you repeat the trick, the awe and enjoyment that the first impression left behind is forgotten. Instead the audience focuses on unraveling how the the trick works. He must constantly work to keep himself fresh and interesting.  
This likely stems from the desperate need to stay afloat the black waters of sorrow and despair filled with losing his idol, losing his father, of hiding who he is from his dear childhood friend, of causing trouble for the man who became his second father for him in a time of need. (Said childhood friend turns out to be none other than Target II Nakamori Aoko. Choosing someone he could easily imitate would explain the sudden disguise switch, the action which caused me to consider an alteration of target.)  

The chaotic nature of Kuroba gives the lawful nature of Hakuba that push he needs to enjoy life in a new way that he never realised he was missing. Kuroba is able to pull Hakuba out of habits that his steady routine oriented mindset may not be able to perceive on his own, to shine the light of truth that the lawful loves, onto how harmful to him the habit can be.

Hakuba’s lawful nature gives Kuroba’s chaotic nature something to hold onto, something to be able to come back to in his whirlwind of entropy. Hakuba helps ground Kuroba, helps keep Kuroba from losing his way and himself in the maze that is his mind, constantly running and creating.

Hakuba is touch starved due to the combination of his status of being a half blood and the nature of his parents’ work. Being half Japanese and half British led to some discrimination against Hakuba since he was part foreign but not even completely foreign, making him an oddity. His parents are also separated and so busy with their work, they never seem to have enough time to properly show Hakuba enough attention. With the high status of his family combined with his good looks, others tend to become either jealous or intimidated, sometimes both. This leaves people unwilling to approach Hakuba for fear of rejection from either the boy in question, because he seems too good for them, or from their jealous classmates. Thus Hakuba was unfortunately made an outcast.

Kuroba is very touchy due to the combination of his disposition and the influence from his nightly guise. With his friendly personality and his desire to make others happy, Kuroba tends to extend many small touches of comfort as a part of his interactions. This trait has naturally developed as a part of his interactive style of performance, of connecting with the audience in order to best make them smile. Then there is his flirtatious mannerisms that have developed as a part of his gentleman thief persona. A charming young man that is teasingly intimate, wooing his lovely audience.  
Another factor is likely the loss of his father which created a need in Kuroba to reassure himself, to feel that someone is still alive, still alright. To reaffirm that they haven’t left him yet.

Kuroba provides Hakuba with the affection he sorely needs, able to fill the hole in his physical affection heart. Kuroba helps to convey that Hakuba is appreciated, he helps him feel like he is wanted and not an emotionless outsider, he makes him feel loved.

Hakuba can never get enough of Kuroba’s clingy tendencies, he is a never tiring outlet for inexhaustible cuddles. Hakuba helps to convey that Kuroba is appreciated, he helps him feel like he is needed and not a dramatic annoyance, he makes him feel loved.

And now for the last point.  
Why are they gay? Well please take a moment to consider this. Have you ever seen Kuroba Kaito and Hakuba Saguru? These boys are pretty (while also being frustratingly handsome, how is that even fair? It’s not fair at all because life is wild like that, looking at you madam Eris). And so I rest my case.

Thus in conclusion, Kuroba Kaito and Hakuba Saguru are a match of perfection.

 

─ ♧♢♧♢ ─

 

After reviewing my situation with the accompanying research I compiled, and taking into consideration the years of loyal service I have contributed, the Bureau of Human Bonds passed my appeal. A very happy ending for this unexpected situation.

Maybe I could be a part time lady of luck, if anyone else was assigned to these targets, it may have ended up a messy heartbreak, and madam Fortuna would be fun to work with.

Although perhaps, Kuroba Kaito was the intended target for Hakuba Saguru all along. After all, the pragmatasphere has never gone wrong with its matchmaking before.

 

── ♧♢♧♢ ──

 

As they entered the classroom, Kaito and Hakuba-kun simultaneously let out yet another sneeze.

“Geeze you two! Aoko has been listening to you sneeze all the way to school,” her initial annoyance gave way to the growing worry, “are you sure you shouldn’t both be resting at home?”

Kaito dismissively waved a hand, “I told you, it’s nothing, just something in the air this morning, stop worrying.”

“It’s barely the start of autumn and you’re already wearing a scarf in this mildly cool temperature.” Aoko pointed an accusatory finger towards the blue plaid scarf wrapped around Kaito’s neck, “Are you sure you’re not feeling cold from a fever?”

“That’s not it! I’m wearing this scarf because—” Kaito abruptly paused as his face darkened with a flush, which in turn received a small frown from Aoko, “Look at you! You’re even turning red, it must be the start of a fever.”

Before Kaito could retort Akako-chan suddenly appeared at their side, “Actually I believe Kuroba-kun is correct, there is something in the air this morning,” she gave the boys one of her smiles that suggested she knew some kind of secret about you that even you might not be aware of, “a little something called love~”

Hakuba-kun cleared his throat, “Don’t worry Aoko-san. I can assure you that we are fit as a fiddle,” a small smirk graced the blond’s lips “last night Kuroba certainly had plenty of physical strength.”

 

Wait. Is he suggesting— that under Kaito’s scarf— does that mean— well Aoko knew that Kaito and Hakuba-kun had started dating a few weeks ago when they suddenly disappeared together after the KID heist the three of them had attended. Speaking of that heist, Aoko needed to give KID a piece of her mind at the next heist because she was pretty sure the fact that she was suddenly shoved into a storage closet where she fell asleep was because of the thief. She was awoken when Kaito and Hakuba-kun found her and she didn’t fail to notice on their way home the way they stood a little closer with their hands intertwined at the fingers. It made Aoko very happy and relieved that the boys had finally realised their feelings.

But despite how perfect they seemed for each other, Aoko wasn’t expecting them to get this far in their relationship already.

One look at Aoko’s reddening face had Kaito sending an annoyed glare towards his still smirking boyfriend, “Oi, that’s a fancy way of putting it. You basically enslaved me to help reorganise your entire personal library.”

“I wouldn’t call it enslavement, I did properly reward you for all your help.”

 

Kaito’s face which had just returned to its normal colour became flushed again as he tugged more of the scarf around his neck, “A-anyways! Like I was saying, don’t listen to Akako and Hakuba’s nonsense! You know I’m just sensitive to the cold Ahoko.” her childhood friend’s classic pout appeared as he huffily plopped into his seat and resolutely ignored them until class started.

Hakuba-kun gave Kaito’s shoulder a gentle pat before taking his own seat. Aoko glanced at Akako-chan still standing next to her, to find to her surprise, a melancholic look that she had never seen on Akako-chan’s face before, “Although it is rather disappointing that I was unable to claim Kuroba-kun for my own,” Akako-chan let out a wistful sigh, “I’m not so foolish as to challenge the Bureau. They are servants of the gods, that would be like questioning the gods themselves.”  
“Hmm? What Bureau are you talking about Akako-chan?”

The redhead’s usual breathtaking smile returned, “Oh it’s nothing of importance Nakamori-san. Don’t mind what I said, just know that those silly boys will be quite alright.” With that, the class beauty gracefully strolled back to her desk as everyone settled in for the start of class.

 

‘Oh well’ Aoko thought as she took a seat at her own desk, Akako-chan was right. Watching how happy Kaito and Hakuba-kun looked, now giving each other some of the softest smiles she’s ever seen on their faces, as class started, Aoko knew it was going to be another good day.

 

─── ♧♢♧♢ ───


End file.
